I write this letter with my arms just aching to hold you. You were gone from me so quick that I struggle to remember your face. Those moments you were inside me were so precious and treasured. We were one and I came to know you, my little girl. I felt as if my hand was in God’s as we both worked to develop you tiny body and spirit. You were a little fighter and you stayed with me as long as you could. I think for a moment you had forgotten our Heavenly Father’s mission for you too and wanted to stay as badly as I wanted you to. You tried to stay for me, and even proved so many wrong, but in the end he called you home.
In the short 6 months you were with me, I dreamed of our days together. I dreamed of rocking you for hours as I studied every little feature on your dainty face and every wrinkle creviced in your tiny hands. I dreamed of the pretty pink clothes I would dress you in and then re-dress you just for fun. The pretty hair ribbons and bows you would wear in your thick dark hair would show off the gift from your father. Well, you would just be the envy of every mother. I would have been there for every moment of your life. Your first words – your first steps. As you grew older I would get to share things such as teaching you to throw a softball and riding a horse. I dreamed of us shopping together and giggling over our favorite movies on our “girls night”. And then me being more nervous than you when your first date arrived knocking on the door. I know I’d have to keep your dad in tow on this night. Your first dance, your first boyfriend, your first break-up, your first drive in the car, your first prom, and graduation and college. The day you were married to the love of your life would be one of my happiest. I dreamed of the beautiful woman you would grow into and also the best friend I would gain. We would have many, many years to make memories together.
But my dreams were just that – dreams. In reality I was being forced to give you back. Those dreams seem so far away right now but they are not gone – just tucked away. You and I will do all of this and more and I will wait. As you drifted in and out of my life you stayed long enough to rescue me. You opened my eyes to the truths I’ve always known and deepened my conviction. I will be worthy to have you placed back into my arms that have been aching for so long and I will get to give you all the love I have inside. Thank you DeLanee for showing me the way. Thank you for what you have contributed to our family – without you we may have never known. I know you will always “tug” at my heart as a reminder to me so that I may be worthy of our reunion. DeLanee, you are my treasure laid up in heaven and there my heart lies also. I will come my little angel. I will!
I love you,
Mom
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